Epiphany 2024 Reflection: Beth Trouy

Happy 2024 to all of our St. Patrick community and beyond! We are starting a faith encouragement series wherein community members share reflections on the weekly readings, feast days, and more. We are beyond excited to start this series with a piece by Beth Trouy. Many know Beth from her outstanding service to St. Patrick as a Lector, EMHC, Altar Server, and all around welcoming and faith-filled force. In addition, she also serves the Diocese as a leader in the Catholic Ministry with Gay and Lesbian Persons ministry.

Growing up before cell phones, I never traveled anywhere without a flashlight. It wasn’t so much that I had any fear of the dark, I just wanted to see where I was going. My family loved camping and I learned early on, you needed a flashlight if you wanted to find your way once the sun went down. The moon and stars weren’t always bright enough under the treed canopy and clouds could make it awfully dark. Everything also looks different and unfamiliar at night but the flashlight always kept me on the path. As long as the batteries were good, I would never be lost to the darkness. I kept that flashlight right next to my pillow so If I needed to see quickly, I had only to reach for it.

What faith the Magi must have had to trust the star. Did they know exactly where, and to whom it was leading them? I always wondered what they did on cloudy nights. Did they patiently wait for the skies to clear or did they become disoriented without their visible guide? How easily it is to get disoriented when we can’t see the path in front of us. Like the Magi, are we to sit and wait for clarity to come, or do we keep moving forward with our best guess of where we last saw the trail? Are we secure enough in our decision to know that at some point, we will see again and know exactly where we are on our journey?
Epiphany is defined as an illuminating discovery, realization or disclosure. The Magi had an epiphany to follow the light to the king they had been told of through dreams. Ready or not, they set out on the journey to find who the light was leading them to in Bethlehem. Epiphany for us today is also not just the manifestation of Christ to the Magi that first Christmas but also to each of us today in our lives. Christ is as real and present and illuminating to us as he was as a newborn baby in the squalid manger surrounded by smelly animals. God reveals such love for us through the light of Christ’s arrival on earth to be with us, among us, even in our smelliness. Christ is our light and yet, we still get lost sometimes to the darkness in the world.
God does not abandon us in times of darkness. God continually guides us to the light, even if we are struggling in a deep darkness that seeks to swallow us whole. These “darknesses” have names: despair, grief, depression, envy, addiction, anxiety, fear. So many desolations that consume our souls and make us spiritually blind to the path back to Christ, and love. We often become lost in our own dark wood on a cloudy endless night. Do we wait and hope the darkness passes? Do we keep trying to move forward in spite of our disorientation? Will the light return for us and show us the way out?
God does not abandon us in times of these darkness though we do often feel abandoned. God is continually present, the flashlight next to our pillows, ready to illuminate our path if we but reach for God. God waits for us to reach. Asking for help though can be a struggle too. It requires that we admit our powerlessness to the things that have consumed our vision. It’s an admission that we need help and we can no longer continue on our own. Reaching out for God means that we first come to terms with our blindness that we sometimes created by our own hands. Our selfish addictions can extinguish the love in our lives and lead us into darkness.
Other times, we may need to first forgive ourselves, or others for the harm they inflicted on us. We have to release our grip on bitterness and revenge in order to open our hands for God. Shame can also compel us to choose darkness over exposure. Do we want the flashlight of God to reveal what is currently hidden? For the moment the light consumes our surroundings, our lives are going to change. Are we ready?

God is ever close to us, even in the darkness. We have only to call out and like a switch, we are surrounded by the lovely illumination of God’s presence. God’s batteries never weaken and the light never fades. But we have to take the initiative to ask. God has given us free will and in doing so, we can choose darkness or light. Our epiphany comes each time we are willing to ask Christ to enter under our roofs to be led and healed from our darknesses and show us the way forward. Christ’s light is the love we seek. This light leads us to the love that has the power to heal all the dark wounds we carry that others often never see.
Yes, the Magi had faith that the light from the star would lead them to the one they were foretold of in their dreams. They dropped everything and took a risk to seek and find Jesus. We don’t know how many times they doubted, got lost, or waited for the clouds to clear. We do know they found Him and paid Him homage. Today, Christ seeks each of us. Christ’s light sits and waits, as close to us as our pillows. We have only to reach for Him and ask that He enter and fill our hearts with the light of His love. We know that receiving His love will change us and the path will not always be clear. Are we still waiting for clouds to pass before we reach for Him?

Come Lord Jesus and light the path to you. Rid us of our darknesses that keep us from seeing you clearly. Renew our faith and hope in You as the giver of all light, love and peace. This is our Epiphany: You have and always will be with us to show us the path to love. We have only to reach for You and trust that You are right here with us, always.

Amen